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The Jira Admin’s Lament

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My Jira instance did expand
since here at work I did land…
My users! How they flock to me!
(Jira is such fun, you see…)

I shall not moan, I shall not wail,
but timesheets tell a sorry tale
of giving upwards of a day,
(sadly, for no extra pay)

A Jira Admin I do need!
He’d better get here with some speed,
to teach my users how to Filter
afore my sanity’s out of kilter.

I’ll feel Validated, on Condition,
he makes my Issues his sole mission
Teach JQL, build Projects next,
and charm his way through Gen X.

He’ll Sprint the way through Fields and Screens,
bring meaning to the Value Streams!
Support the role of Product Owner
and show it’s no misplaced misnomer.

If he just sorts out my Permissions!
Praise he shall have with loud renditions
of word and song and gentle strum,
as long as he kicks ass in Scrum!

He dare not hope for Confluence,
but maybe with some skilled nuance,
He’ll help convince the powers that be,
It’s SO DAMN EFFICIENT, they MUST SEE!

Alas, dear Admin, my poor chap
I have you on a rough Roadmap
Please, dear Admin, be my saviour,
lest I edit ONE MORE BEHAVIOUR!

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